Last Day as a Child

4:29 PM 0 Comments

According to the government, tomorrow is the day I turn into an adult. Now, I can buy cigarettes and go to jail. How exciting! But honestly, I think age is not a good indicator of how mature or responsible someone is. Sometimes a ten year-old can be more responsible than someone in their 40's. I think it depends on how a person lives his/her life.
I don't feel like I'm turning 18 mentally. I've grown up in a small town with very overprotective parents that have shielded me from the real world. Tomorrow when I wake up I will still be in the same environment. I don't think it will hit me that I'm an adult until I go off to college in the fall.
So I have decided to have a low key/family only birthday celebration tomorrow because I'm not ready to be 18. I need more time to learn how to love and respect myself. I need to take more pride in my work and appearance. Lastly, I need to learn how to LIVE life.
I never pushed myself to achieve anything or fight for anything. I've spent most of my teenage years lying to myself and everyone around me. I always looked for the easy way out both in my work and my relationships. I'm done with living like this. I want to feel actual pain, feel love, and all the emotions in between. I'd rather live a life where I feel pain. Because then I'll also get to feel love. But if I continue to live in this state of oblivion I'll never achieve anything.
So tomorrow may be my birthday but I will not acknowledge it until I start to make efforts to improve my life.

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Some say he’s half man half fish, others say he’s more of a seventy/thirty split. Either way he’s a fishy bastard. Google

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