Winter's Tale

”When true love is lost, life can bleed all meaning, we are left blank - but the possibility of destiny remains. What we are meant for may yet be discovered - and once...in a very long while that journey to find our destiny may defeat even time itself.” (Winter's Tale)

Each Day

We are always counting down. That is why "time goes by so fast". If you don't want life to flash by find something to look forward to each day.

Putting on a Face

In the morning I spend little time putting on makeup but a lot of time putting on my smile.

Whale Vomit

Do you ever stop and think about how disgusting humans actually are? I think a big problem for me is finding out weather I love all people or hate all people. Click Here to see some gross things average people do.

Bouquet of Roses

I have so many bouquets in my room for my birthday (most of them are from my mom). But I think receiving flowers, specifically bouquets is a paradox. For example, your boyfriend gets you a bouquet of roses for a special date. What do you do? You probably thank him and put them in a vase with water. You leave them on your dining room table. They make the room look prettier. But what happens to those flowers in a few days? They dry out, start to smell bad, and fall apart. And so all you're left to do is throw them out. Why is it considered the norm to give someone something that is already dying for a special event? It really bothers me that this is normal. But then again I over analyze things and just can't appreciate the flowers while they are there. For me it's always a countdown until something good is gone. I can never be the person to just "enjoy it while it lasts". So personally, I'd rather get balloons and chocolate for a celebration. Or an actual flower that has not been ripped out of the soil. And I will make sure my future boyfriend knows this about me. As far as the 5 bouquets in my room goes, it's my mom; I will let it slide!

Not 18

Am I the only one who finds birthdays extremely awkward? It's probably because I hate the attention. What I don't like most is when someone else over hears someone else saying Happy Birthday and they automatically say, "It's your birthday, Happy Birthday!". Yet, I find myself doing that all the time. I feel this is okay if you are friends with a person. But I don't like it when a person puts on a happy face and says happy birthday to a person they don't like. I personally think it is less rude not say anything than to fake a smile and wish someone a happy birthday. I'm just glad that this is the last time I will experience such an awkward school birthday. Starting Fall I will be in a big college where only my friends will notice my birthday.

Last Day as a Child

According to the government, tomorrow is the day I turn into an adult. Now, I can buy cigarettes and go to jail. How exciting! But honestly, I think age is not a good indicator of how mature or responsible someone is. Sometimes a ten year-old can be more responsible than someone in their 40's. I think it depends on how a person lives his/her life.
I don't feel like I'm turning 18 mentally. I've grown up in a small town with very overprotective parents that have shielded me from the real world. Tomorrow when I wake up I will still be in the same environment. I don't think it will hit me that I'm an adult until I go off to college in the fall.
So I have decided to have a low key/family only birthday celebration tomorrow because I'm not ready to be 18. I need more time to learn how to love and respect myself. I need to take more pride in my work and appearance. Lastly, I need to learn how to LIVE life.
I never pushed myself to achieve anything or fight for anything. I've spent most of my teenage years lying to myself and everyone around me. I always looked for the easy way out both in my work and my relationships. I'm done with living like this. I want to feel actual pain, feel love, and all the emotions in between. I'd rather live a life where I feel pain. Because then I'll also get to feel love. But if I continue to live in this state of oblivion I'll never achieve anything.
So tomorrow may be my birthday but I will not acknowledge it until I start to make efforts to improve my life.